Chapter 3

Saturday I went to see my lawyer, Andrew Bennett.

He already had the divorce papers drawn up.

Leaving his office, I walked down the sidewalk with no destination in mind.

By the time I came back to myself, I was standing at the park.

On the bike path next to the lawn, Chloe was riding her brand-new kid's bike, sweaty and laughing.

Daniel stood ahead of her with his arms open.

"Slow down, baby. Eyes on Dad. Come toward me."

Rachel trailed behind, one hand on the seat.

"Don't be scared. I've got you."

I stood there a moment, then went back to my car for the helmet and knee pads I'd had ready for Chloe for ages.

By the time I got back, she'd stopped for a water break.

I held out the helmet.

"There's loose gravel over there. Put this on before you ride."

Up close I saw she was already wearing a new one. I hadn't even lowered my arm before she frowned.

"I already have one. I don't want the one you got."

I pulled the helmet back and offered the knee pads instead.

"Then put these on."

She shook her head.

"Rachel says we're only riding on flat ground today. I won't fall."

I looked at Rachel.

She gave me a little smile.

"I just want her to relax. She's already nervous — do we have to keep reminding her she might fall?"

Daniel jumped in immediately.

"Claire, she's finally having fun. Can you not keep telling her she's going to crash?"

My hand closed hard around the knee pads.

I remembered the last time Chloe scraped her knee. That night she cried just from her pajama leg brushing the cut.

All I wanted was for her not to hurt like that again.

Halfway through, she fell anyway.

Her tire hit a patch of loose gravel, the bike tipped sideways, and Chloe went down on her backside.

I was already running.

But before I could touch her, Rachel had crouched down and pulled her into her arms.

"Where does it hurt, sweetheart? Let me see."

Chloe, eyes brimming, grabbed a fistful of her sleeve.

"My knee."

I got the little first-aid kit out of my bag and pulled out an antiseptic wipe.

"Let's get it cleaned out first."

Rachel loosened her hold a little.

"Let your mom do it. She's better at this than I am."

Chloe only clung tighter.

"No!"

Her voice cracked, and she buried her face in Rachel's shoulder.

"Mom's just gonna say I wasn't being careful."

My hand went still.

"Chloe, I didn't say it was your fault."

She wouldn't look at me.

Daniel glanced up at the wipe in my hand and took it from me.

"I'll do it. Let's just get her to stop crying."

I stepped back and watched him crouch beside Rachel and clean the dirt off Chloe's knee.

That afternoon, Chloe spotted other kids coasting down a slope on the path and started begging to try it.

I stopped her right away.

"You just started today. You haven't learned how to brake yet. Let's stay on the flat for now, okay?"

Rachel knelt in front of her and said, gently:

"If you want to try, I'll go with you. We'll take it slow."

"She already fell once," I said.

Daniel turned to me.

"She can't fall one time and then never be allowed to try anything again."

"I'm talking about today."

He sighed like he was already sick of this conversation.

"She needs some confidence, Claire. You can't decide every time that she can't do it."

Chloe was already pushing her bike toward the top of the slope.

Rachel walked at her side. Daniel turned and went after them.

Nobody asked me again.

And on the way down, it happened.

Rachel held the seat for a few steps, but the bike got away from her fast.

Chloe panicked, her feet slipped off the pedals, the handlebars started whipping side to side.

"Daddy!"

She forgot the brakes and went straight for the guardrail along the path.

I was at the bottom of the slope. I threw myself at the handlebars and hauled back with everything I had.

The bike snapped sideways.

I got my body around Chloe and went down with her, my knee slamming into the gravel, my other palm tearing open when I caught myself.

The bike stopped.

She didn't hit anything.

But once she got her breath back, the first thing she did was throw herself at Daniel.

"Daddy, I was so scared."

Rachel stood off to the side, eyes red.

"This is my fault. I thought I could keep up. I should've held on the whole way."

Daniel looked up and comforted her first.

"She's fine. Don't blame yourself."

Not one of them looked at me.

I pushed myself up off the ground, looked down at the blood on my palm, and suddenly didn't want to say anything at all.

That evening at home, I got out the first-aid kit and sat at the dining table working on my hand.

Chloe's tablet was at the other end of the table. The screen lit up.

A message on the lock screen.

From Rachel.

"You did SO good today! Remember to keep our secret — then there'll be another surprise next weekend "

I set the gauze down, opened the thread, and scrolled up.

The more I read, the colder my fingers got.

"Dad says we can all go to the park on Saturday. Let's not tell Mom yet, okay? We don't want her getting mad again."

"I'll bring you a present next time we see each other. Be a good girl and keep the secret."

"The better you behave, the more your dad will love you."

I was gripping the tablet so hard my hands shook.

So she hadn't just changed on her own.

Somebody had been teaching her, piece by piece, how to push me out.

Daniel came down from his shower, saw the tablet in my hands, and stopped mid-step.

I turned the screen toward him.

"Read it yourself."

He took it and scrolled a few screens.

Then he said nothing for a long time.

I watched him and waited for him to speak.

Just this once — to admit that this was wrong.

What he finally said was:

"She probably just wants Chloe to feel comfortable when she's with us."

I stared at him.

"A grown woman, getting an eight-year-old to keep things from her mother, bribing her with presents for picking a side, telling her that Daddy will only love her if she's good."

My voice was shaking.

"Daniel. You see nothing wrong with that?"

He took the tablet out of my hands. His tone went flat and cold.

"Keep pushing her like this and all you'll do is drive her further away."

I looked at him and slowly nodded.

"Okay."

"Then I'm done pushing."

"From now on, whoever you two want to hand her off to, go ahead."

I went upstairs, dragged out a suitcase, and started packing.

He still thought I was just making a point.

Halfway through the clothes, my phone lit up.

A text from a number I didn't know.

"We need to talk face to face. About the baby I'm carrying."

I stared at the screen with something pressing down on my chest.

Rachel was pregnant.