Revenge on the Porch Pirate A High-Purine Feast

My neighbor really loved my stuff.

Even with his chronic gout, he couldn't stop stealing my food deliveries.

He even slandered me in the building's Snapchat group:

"Only streetwalkers order takeout every single day!"

I smirked, opened up my browser, and started researching a custom diet just for him.

"Foods that trigger immediate gout flare-ups."

"What causes uric acid levels to skyrocket."

Since he wanted to eat my food so badly, I was going to let him feast until he dropped!

On the last workday before the long Memorial Day weekend, I ordered spicy cajun crawfish on my way home.