Chapter 2

Early pregnancy has me sleeping like the dead.

Poppy’s crying is what wakes me up.

Her voice is shrill. "Daddy, you spoil Mommy too much! That’s why she’s so lazy!"

"She almost got me killed!"

"She’s a bad mommy! I don’t want her! I want Miss Sienna to be my new mommy!"

Every word from the living room cuts straight through me.

Last month, I went to pick Poppy up from preschool.

I was a few minutes late, and she was gone.

For those few hours, my whole world fell apart.

Declan and I searched half the city. In the end, Sienna showed up out of nowhere with Poppy in her arms.

And the so-called kidnapper was never caught.

Since then, Poppy’s shut me out completely.

"It’s Mommy’s fault for being late! The bad man took me because of her! If it weren’t for Miss Sienna, I’d be dead!"

At first, Declan tried to comfort me.

He said she was little, and I shouldn’t take it personally.

Then, little by little, he stopped looking at me. "She’s not wrong. If it weren’t for you, none of this would’ve happened."

"Of course she’s attached to Sienna. Stop being so dramatic."

For Poppy’s sake, I kept backing down.

I push back the covers and pad barefoot to the bedroom door.

In the living room, Declan’s voice is gentle. "Be a good girl, and Memorial Day weekend I’ll take you and Miss Sienna to the beach."

"Not Mommy."

"Nope," Declan says. "Not Mommy. She’d just ruin it."

Poppy catches my eye over his shoulder and smirks.

They walk out the door without a single word to me.

I stand barefoot on the cold floor. The woman in the mirror looks wrecked. Her lips are bloodless.

When I get to the conservatory, my department chair does a double take. "Are you feeling okay? You’re white as a ghost."

So it’s that obvious.

And yet nobody at home has noticed.

Not once has anyone there asked if I’m okay.

She hands me a folder. "The Paris fellowship I told you about. Two years. Think about it again. Seriously."

"You’re the best violinist in this department. Turn it down this time, and it won’t come around again."

I’ve turned it down more times than I can count, for Declan and Poppy.

But this time, I don’t know why, I take the folder.

"I’ll think about it."

Halfway through class, my phone rings.

Poppy’s sobbing on the other end. "Mommy, help me!"

My blood runs cold.

"Poppy? Poppy?!"

The line goes dead.

I don’t stop to tell anyone. I sprint to my car and floor it toward the preschool.

I call Declan again and again.

He never picks up.

The terror from a month ago swallows me whole.

I drive like my own life doesn’t matter. I clip one guardrail, then another, and I don’t slow down.

I burst through the preschool door.

Poppy’s curled up in Sienna’s lap, giggling.

"See, Miss Sienna? I told you she’d come running. I bet she crashed on the way here."

"Too bad she didn’t die. Then you could be my new mommy."

I freeze. I can’t believe those words just came out of my daughter’s mouth.

Sienna pulls Poppy closer. "Mrs. Ward, please don’t be upset. It was just a little drill."

"So next time something happens, maybe you won’t be so careless."

I storm toward them. "You ran a drill without telling the parents?!"

Sienna shrieks. Poppy bursts into tears.

"Mommy’s gone crazy!"

The next second, someone shoves me hard into the wall.

Pain rips through my side and down into my stomach.

The blood drains from my face. Then I feel something warm trickle down my legs.