Chapter 1

My boyfriend kissed another girl in Cancún, and I found out from an Instagram Story set to Close Friends with me as the only name on the list.

But that part comes later.

It's spring break. The five of us flew down together. Me, my boyfriend Jax, my brother Caleb, my childhood friend Miles, and my so-called best friend Sienna.

At check-in, their bags are all overweight. Guess whose suitcase gets emptied into mine.

"Yours is basically empty, babe. Just throw it in."

"Wren, come on. Don't make it a thing."

"It's literally two shirts."

By the time it's my turn at the counter, I'm two hundred bucks lighter. Nobody offers to split it. Nobody even looks up from their phones.

That night at a beachfront taquería, our table has four chairs. Four.

"You could use the exercise anyway," Sienna says, flipping her hair. "Standing's good for you."

Everyone laughs. I laugh too, because what else am I supposed to do.

I'm balancing a paper tray of grilled shrimp in one hand when my wrist gives out. The whole thing flips. Right into my face.

I run to the bathroom to wash the sauce out of my hair. When I come back, the table's empty. Just four greasy plates and a tip left on a napkin.

They Ubered back without me.

It's almost midnight when I drag myself into the villa lobby. And there they are. All four of them. Dressed up, done up, perfumed, laughing, on their way back out.

Jax ruffles my hair like I'm five. "Attagirl. Where we're going isn't really your scene."

Caleb steers me toward my room with a hand on my shoulder. "Just stay in tonight, okay? Lock the door."

He talks to me like I'm twelve. I'm twenty-four.

Miles leans against the wall, smirking at nothing.

I point at Sienna. "She's a girl."

Sienna freezes.

Jax jumps in before she has to answer. "Sen's like our little sister. It's different."

"But I'm your girlfriend. Isn't that different?"

I can't think of a single thing to say.

Thirty minutes later, my phone buzzes. It's Sienna's Instagram Story.

They went to an 18+ cabaret show.

And there's Sienna, on stage, legs wrapped around Jax's waist, arms around his neck. Caleb and Miles are in the front row, cupping their mouths, chanting, "Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!"

And Jax tilts his head down and kisses her.

The caption:

"Turns out we have WAY more fun without a certain someone 😘🍹"

I open my laptop and book the next flight home.

If they have more fun without me, fine. I'm done trying to squeeze into a group that keeps shoving me out.

One-thirty in the morning. The door bursts open.

Jax has his arm around Sienna's waist, half-holding her up. She's wearing Caleb's new flip-flops. Miles's jacket is draped over her shoulders. Her cheeks are pink from drinking, and she's laughing like the whole world owes her a good time.

She spots me on the edge of the bed and waves her ticket stub at me.

"Little Mouse! You're still up?"

My name is Wren.

I don't even remember when she started calling me Little Mouse. Something small. Something that belongs in a corner. Something you don't have to look at.

I pushed back on it, in the beginning. They all said the same thing. She doesn't mean anything by it. Don't be sensitive. So eventually I stopped.

Jax doesn't even say hi. He walks straight past me and starts digging through my bag.

"Where's your first-aid kit? Sen's heels are shredded. Can you clean her up and put a Band-Aid on? She's a baby about the sting."

My knee is still bleeding.

The street was packed. After I washed my face, I was running to catch up with them and someone shoulder-checked me into the pavement. Nobody noticed.

I look up at him. "What about mine?"

Jax blinks. Then he laughs, soft, like I'm being adorable, and crouches down to pinch my cheek.

"Baby, she's a mess right now. Just help her out, yeah? I'll take care of yours after. Promise."

I don't get it. In the lobby, Sienna was "like our little sister." Now suddenly she's too fragile for her own feet and I'm the one who should know better.

I open my mouth. I close it.

Because this is how it's always been.

I was eight. I wiped out on my bike in the driveway and took a chunk of skin off my knee. Caleb glanced down and said, "That's what you get for showing off. Walk it off."

Thirty seconds later, Sienna jumped off a wall and scraped her palm. All three of them swarmed her like she was dying.

She waved them off, giggling. "Guys, stop. I'm not some baby."

Caleb still took my Band-Aids out of my backpack and put one on her.

Miles blew on the scrape, grinning. "Don't act so tough, Sen. You're still a girl."

Jax handed her the popsicle he'd just bought for me. "Sugar helps. Trust me."

And I stood there with my knee bleeding into my sock, hands shaking, and heard my brother call over his shoulder. "Wren. Why are you just standing there? Grab some napkins. Sen's covered in dirt."

It took me until tonight to finally get it.

Sienna is their buddy. And their princess.

And I'm the one who doesn't get to bleed. Who doesn't get to cry. Who hands them the napkins.

I turn my face away.

"I'm not doing it."

The room goes dead quiet.

Sienna tucks her foot back under herself. Her smile stiffens.

"It's fine. I'll do it myself. Mouse, what's with you tonight?"

Jax finally turns and looks at me. Really looks.

"Wait. Is this because we didn't take you out?"

He laughs. A soft, warm, you're being so cute right now laugh. Reaches out to ruffle my hair again.

"Baby. Come on. You would've hated it, I swear. It was wild."

Then he picks up my white first-aid kit. Antiseptic, gauze, Band-Aids, my emergency EpiPen, all of it.

I hold out my hand. "Give it back."

He's already walking toward Sienna.

"Okay, okay. You don't want to help? I'll do it myself. Happy?"

I watch him follow her into the other room and shut the door. My throat feels like it's packed full of cotton.

He never comes back.

Not that night. Not to check on my knee. Not once.

I flip my phone over in my palm.

The screen glows up at me.

Flight to LAX. Departs in 36 hours.