Chapter 1

Ethan Blake nearly died in a car accident.

After surgery, he came out of general anesthesia fighting like a cornered animal.

Two nurses could barely keep him from ripping out his IV.

I rushed to the bed before I could think.

"Ethan. It's me. You're safe."

I reached for his hand.

The second I touched him, his eyes flew open.

He kicked me hard in the stomach.

"Get away from me!"

I hit the floor so hard I couldn't breathe.

Then Lily Monroe ran into the room.

She had known Ethan since they were kids.

She didn't grab him.

Didn't call his name over and over.

She simply put one hand against his forehead.

Ethan went still.

Just like that.

His eyes closed again.

Then he turned his face into her palm and leaned into her touch like he'd finally found somewhere safe.

Hours later, he was fully awake.

I asked him about it.

He barely looked at me.

"I was coming out of anesthesia, Claire. I didn't know what I was doing."

"You touched me and I panicked. Lily's familiar. My brain recognized her. That's all."

I stared at the man I'd loved for seven years.

His wife made him panic.

Another woman made him feel safe.

Something inside me finally went quiet.

"You're right."

He frowned.

I gave him a small smile.

"I should've known better."

And for the first time in seven years, I did.

I stopped trying.

The hospital room smelled like disinfectant and stale air.

Underneath it was Lily's perfume.

Sweet.

Expensive.

Familiar.

Ethan sat against the raised head of the bed, pale but alert.

Lily was beside him with a paper bowl of chicken noodle soup from his favorite deli.

She lifted a spoonful and blew on it.

"Try this."

Ethan opened his mouth.

She fed him.

No hesitation.

No awkwardness.

It looked practiced.

Worse, it looked natural.

I stood in the doorway holding the hospital paperwork I'd just signed downstairs.

My stomach still throbbed where Ethan had kicked me.

The pain had spread into my lower back.

Half an hour earlier, I'd been terrified he'd tear open his surgical incision.

I'd thrown myself over him while the nurses tried to keep his arms down.

"Ethan, it's me. You're okay."

Then his foot slammed into me.

I went backward into a metal equipment cart.

My vision blurred.

He screamed at me to get away.

Then Lily arrived.

One touch from her and he settled down.

I walked into the room and dropped the paperwork on the bedside table.

Ethan looked up.

His expression immediately hardened.

"Where have you been?"

I stared at him.

"Downstairs."

"Doing what?"

"Paying the portion of your surgery bill insurance didn't cover."

He let out an irritated breath.

"Lily flew back from London as soon as she heard what happened. You've been gone half the afternoon."

I almost laughed.

Instead, I looked at Lily.

She wore a cream designer dress and looked perfectly put together despite supposedly having rushed straight from the airport.

She set the soup aside.

"Claire, don't be upset with him. He just had major surgery."

Her voice was soft.

Concerned.

Perfectly reasonable.

That was Lily's specialty.

Making an insult sound like kindness.

She turned to Ethan.

"And don't be mad at Claire. You know how busy she is."

Then she glanced at me.

"Honestly, I'm surprised she was able to get away from work at all."

There it was.

Ethan's jaw tightened.

"Exactly."

He looked at me like I had disappointed him.

Again.

"You've always been like this. Something happens and you turn into a robot."

"I almost died, Claire."

"You haven't even asked how I'm feeling."

I slowly looked down at my stomach.

Then back at him.

"I was the person holding you down so you didn't rip your stitches."

"You kicked me across the room."

His eyes narrowed.

"So now we're doing this?"

"When I touched you, you fought me."

I pointed at Lily.

"When she touched you, you calmed down immediately."

"So tell me something."

"Why does your wife feel like a threat, but Lily feels safe?"

He stared at me for a second.

Then he rolled his eyes.

"Jesus Christ."

Lily looked down.

Of course she did.

Ethan rubbed his forehead.

"I was drugged."

"I wasn't thinking."

"I panicked when you grabbed me. Lily's touch was familiar."

"You're really going to turn that into some relationship test?"

"Grow up."

Seven years.

Seven years of making excuses for him.

Seven years of telling myself he was stressed.

Busy.

Bad at communicating.

Loyal in his own way.

I felt sick.

"Okay."

He looked at me suspiciously.

"Okay what?"

"You're right."

I picked up my purse.

"I shouldn't have made a big deal out of it."

"Finally."

He actually sounded relieved.

I turned toward the door.

Behind me, he said, "Where are you going now?"

"Home."

"What?"

His voice sharpened.

"Claire, come back."

I kept walking.

"Lily just got off a ten-hour flight. At least take her somewhere to eat. Help her get checked into a hotel."

I opened the door.

Lily said softly, "It's fine, Ethan. I don't want to cause trouble."

I almost smiled.

Too late for that.

I walked out.