Chapter 3

Adam sends the spreadsheet because he thinks it will prove I'm overreacting.

I ask for a record of every pass.

Want to check our math?

"All of it," I tell him. "Dates. Reasons. Who approved what."

A file arrives a few minutes later.

See? We've been consistent.

There are four tabs.

Issued.

Redeemed.

Upcoming.

Prompts.

I open the last one.

Dinner: S uses R's glass. Watch whether C intervenes.

Weekend trip: front passenger seat. Don't offer to switch.

Anniversary: R leaves phone unanswered until C calls twice.

Matching profile pictures: Luke to select.

Each line has a result.

Each result has a number beside it.

One pass.

Two passes.

A full weekend.

I scroll until I find the hospital date.

High-stakes test. No exceptions. She needs to accept not coming first.

Ryan's initials are in the approval column.

I read the sentence again.

Then I call Adam.

"You planned it."

"What?"

"The glass. The trip. My anniversary."

"We had to give you opportunities to practice."

"My mother's surgery?"

He sighs.

"Claire, we've been through this."

I look at the time.

All four of them are at Ryan's apartment. Sophie posted a picture of the takeout ten minutes ago.

I go there.

Luke opens the door with a carton in his hand.

"Hey. Finally."

Sophie is curled up on the couch, wearing my slippers.

Ryan gets up from the couch.

"Are you ready to talk?"

I hold up my phone.

"Did you approve this?"

His eyes move across the screen.

Then he looks toward Adam.

Adam shrugs.

"She asked for the records."

"I'm asking you," I tell Ryan.

"Yes."

The word lands without hesitation.

"You knew I'd be alone at the hospital."

"I knew you'd be upset."

"You knew I was scared."

"And I knew your mother was with a surgical team. There was nothing I could do there."

"You could have sat beside me."

Sophie sets down her food.

"I offered to give the pass back."

"You knew the date when you used it."

She looks at Ryan.

He steps closer to her.

"Don't put this all on Sophie. I made the decision."

"I know."

Something in my voice makes him stop.

Luke places his carton on the coffee table.

"Nobody wanted anything bad to happen to your mom."

"But you were willing to use it."

Adam rubs the back of his neck.

"It was a test, Claire."

"Of what?"

No one answers.

"How much I'd let you do before I left?"

Ryan gives a short, disbelieving laugh.

"You're not leaving over this."

I look around the apartment.

At the photographs I arranged on the shelves.

The blanket Mom knitted for us.

The couch where Sophie sits with her feet tucked into my slippers.

"I came for my things."

Ryan's smile disappears.

"Don't start."

I take two bags from the hall closet.

He follows me into the bedroom.

"You're seriously doing this?"

I fold my clothes.

"We have one pass left."

I keep folding.

"One day. You've waited this long, and now you're going to blow everything up?"

I put my passport in my bag.

Ryan watches me zip it.

Then he reaches into his pocket.

My engagement ring rests in his palm.

A few weeks ago, he had it for three days because he said the setting needed checking.

"I'll put this back on you when it's over."

I pick up the bags.

He doesn't move out of the doorway.

"What if I'm done now?" I ask.

He stares at me.

Then his face softens into the expression he uses when he thinks I'm being unreasonable but adorable.

"You've loved me since we were nineteen."

I wait.

"You're not going anywhere."

Eventually, he steps aside.

Luke offers to carry a bag.

I tell him no.

That night, the Portland manager calls.

There's an opening on her team.

The salary is slightly better. I can start in three weeks.

"Is that enough time?" she asks.

"Yes."

Mom is sitting beside me when I book our flights.

The evening of the wedding.

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"About leaving him?"

"About waiting until then."

I show her the appointment confirmation from her doctor. One last follow-up before we travel.

"We'll go after this."

She nods.

I send Melissa written confirmation that I will not participate as the bride. I ask her to have my garment bag and personal items ready for collection that afternoon.

She calls to make sure I mean it.

I do.

Then I draft a message for both families.

I keep it short.

I attach the records.

Before I can finish, Sophie sends me a screenshot.

She has written in their four-person chat:

For my last pass, can I be the bride for a day?

Luke replies with a string of laughing faces.

Adam writes:

Full experience. Walk down the aisle, vows, rings, cake, pictures.

Sophie answers:

Too much? We don't have to.

Ryan's reply is directly underneath.

Sure. It's the last one.

Another message arrives from Sophie.

You don't mind, right? Tomorrow he's all yours.

I save that too.