Chapter 2

"God, you really are clueless. Your mom's gone. Your dad's a deadbeat drunk. Who the hell else is gonna want you, Aria? Huh? You got some other guy lined up? Or you planning to just be alone forever?"

My eyes sting. My lips won't stop trembling.

He sees me shut down and grabs my hand again.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It just came out."

Funny how the stuff that "just comes out" is always the truth.

When I was seventeen and my dad came home blackout drunk and nearly killed me, Ethan was the one who jumped in front of me. Took the knife. Held me and said:

"I'm here. Nobody's gonna touch you."

The day my mom died, I was at her grave, crying so hard I couldn't breathe. He pulled me into his chest and whispered:

"I'm sorry I'm late. I'm gonna love you the way she did."

Now his voice is ice.

"So that's it? I go on one hike with your friend and you wanna throw away everything? The wedding, us, all of it?"

I open my mouth and feel nothing.

"Yeah. Because I'm leaving—"

The door flies open. She walks in. He drops my hand like it burns.

Vanessa looks at him first. Then me. Eyes all glassy.

"Oh thank god, Aria. I was so worried you'd do something crazy so I came right back. We're ride-or-die, remember? Those posts were just us hanging out. Don't make it weird."

I don't say a word. She fidgets and tries again.

"Come on, you seriously think I'd go after your man? I would never do that."

Right. Ride-or-die. Except somewhere along the way I got pushed out and nobody bothered to tell me.

Shopping trips where they walked together and I trailed behind. Dinners where nobody asked what I wanted. A storm that cancelled our flight and they rebooked without even texting me.

And every time, the same excuse:

"Aria, we can't keep track of you every second. If something bugs you, just say something."

I did. Nobody cared.

"Okay. I believe you. And I'm done with both of you."

My voice barely comes out. But she won't quit. Her tears land right on my hand.

A year ago, that would've wrecked me. Not now.

We grew up in the same crappy apartment building. Paper-thin walls, roaches everywhere, heat that cut out every winter. She never had food in the fridge. So I'd steal groceries from home for her. My dad caught me once and beat me so bad I couldn't move for days. She saw the bruises and sobbed.

"Aria, thank you for wanting to be my friend. I'm gonna spend my whole life paying you back."

I put my hand on her shoulder and grinned. "I got you. Always."

Now her voice is shaking. Every word a knife.

"Today's on me. The wedding fell through because of me. So let's do it tomorrow, okay? Please? Just stop being mad."

I yank my hand free and slap her across the face.

"Tomorrow's the anniversary of my mom's death. You forgot?"

She stares at me, tears running. "I just... it slipped my mind..."

Ethan shoves me. Hard. Puts himself between us like she's the victim.

I slam into the shelf behind me. Our high school graduation photo crashes to the floor. Glass explodes. A piece catches my neck and I feel the sting, then the blood.

He glances at me. Doesn't even blink.

"We've been slammed at work. People forget stuff. Not everybody sits around all day with nothing to do like you. Was that really worth hitting her?"

"Honestly Aria, you're embarrassing yourself. You want a wedding that bad? This is what crazy looks like."

He's standing right there. But he might as well be on another planet.

"I—"

Before I get a word out, Vanessa shoves past him and bolts for the door.

"It's all my fault! I'll go! Just stop fighting because of me!"

Ethan lurches after her, then freezes. Looks back at me.