Chapter 4

I hadn't gone far from the private room when someone called out to me.

"Olivia! Zach says you forgot something!"

Zach. She said his name so intimately.

I turned around to see Tessa, out of breath from running after me.

"Here."

A dirty Hello Kitty keychain lay in her hand.

"Zach said to return this to you."

She pouted:

"I don't know why a grown man would have a Hello Kitty keychain on his car keys. It's so ugly."

She gave me a challenging smile:

"But I got him a Hermès keychain instead, and he seems to really like it."

"This one is just too old and tacky."

I stared blankly at the keychain.

In high school, when Zachary won an award in the physics competition, he had begged me to make him a little keychain.

"Olivia, will you make me a Hello Kitty one?"

"That way, when I hang it on my backpack, it'll be like you're with me."

Later when his career took off, the keychain moved from his backpack to his car keys.

All these years, even as it got worn and damaged, he had never replaced it.

But now he had taken it off his car keys.

It felt like there was a hole in my heart, with the wind whistling through.

I suddenly felt so tired.

It was like a reminder - Olivia, your memories with him were just a huge illusion.

I pressed my lips together, then suddenly smiled:

"It is pretty old. If you don't want it anymore, just throw it away."

Even though Zachary and I had never actually been together, his home was filled with traces of our life together.

My toothbrush, my slippers, my makeup.

He said it was more convenient that way, so I could stay over if we hung out late.

But now that he had a girlfriend, I should clear out my things completely.

As if I had never been part of his life at all.

While packing up my things from Zachary's place, I suddenly found a torn piece of lingerie.

Black lace, very sexy.

My thoughts drifted back to seven years ago.

Puberty had hit me hard, bringing with it pointless mockery and insults.

The thin school uniform couldn't hide my overwhelming insecurity.

My mom had run off with someone else long ago, and my so-called father did nothing but yell at me and hit me.

I wore my mother's old bras, hunched over, barely surviving amidst my classmates' taunts.

Until one day Zachary secretly slipped me a box.

"I looked it up...you should wear this from now on..."

The boy stared at the ground, his face red and uncomfortable.

When I got home, I realized what Zachary had given me.

It was a training bra.

Pink, with Hello Kitty printed on it. Very cute.

There was a thoughtful little note attached:

"Those guys making crude jokes are disgusting. Olivia, don't pay any attention to them."

Later when I grew up, I could no longer fit into that training bra.

I kept it buried at the bottom of my closet, as if telling me I had finally escaped that damp, miserable adolescence.

I grew to love beauty more, got braces, and switched to sexier lingerie.

That way I could be a more suitable friend for Zachary.

Until that drunken night when I mumbled to him:

"Zachary, I really like you so much."

He was asleep, the sunlight shining on the scar above his eyebrow.

I gently kissed it.

Even now, I still hate that kiss.

It broke down some barrier between Zachary and me.

Things spiraled out of control after that.

Zachary hadn't actually been asleep at all.

He opened his eyes, his gaze dark and intense.

My heart dropped.

Great, now we couldn't even be friends anymore.

But he suddenly kissed me roughly.

That kiss burned away seven years of hurt and resentment, as if trying to make up for all the heartbeats we had missed.

Zachary pressed me down, conquering every inch. By the end I could only curl up in his arms, crying softly.

He chuckled and stroked my face, saying quietly:

"Olivia, you're so sensitive."

I thought my seven years of unrequited love had finally paid off. Blushing, I asked him:

"Zachary, what are we now?"

But he just raised an eyebrow carelessly:

"Friends, of course."

"Though Olivia, I never realized how soft you were before."