Chapter 4

I stayed in Mia’s room all night.

The next morning, when I walked out with my already packed suitcase, Ryan was sitting on the sofa, his eyes bloodshot, the divorce papers crumpled in his hand.

Seeing me, he shot up, rushing over in a few strides and gripping my wrist.

“Harper, do you really have to do this?” His voice was hoarse, tinged with a plea. “I’m devastated about Mia’s death too. I admit I was responsible, that I made a misjudgment.”

“But you can’t let this one incident negate all our years together!”

I tried to pull away, but he held on tighter.

“All these years together?” I looked up, meeting his gaze directly. “Ryan, which years are you talking about?”

“The years I quit my job to support your career, moving with you to this isolated mountain town?”

“Or every time you went on a mission, when I couldn’t sleep all night, sick with worry for you?”

“Or perhaps, this relationship where my sister lost her life for one of your so-called regrets?”

His face went pale, and his grip on my hand loosened slightly.

“I didn’t ask you to do any of that…” he argued. “I thought you did it willingly.”

“I *was* willing,” I conceded with a nod. “But that was because I thought, in your heart, my family and I came first.”

“Now I know I was wrong.”

“To you, your ‘principles’ and ‘judgment’ were more important than my sister’s life itself.”

“That’s different!” he interrupted, agitated. “Valerie’s situation was an *accident*! I was just—”

“Enough, Ryan.” I didn’t want to hear any more of his excuses. “I don’t care what you were thinking at the time. I only know the outcome.”

“And the outcome is that my sister is dead, and you are indirectly responsible for it.”

The word “responsible” hit Ryan like a sledgehammer. He completely let go of me, stepping back, his eyes filled with hurt and anger.

“Harper, do you have to use such hurtful words to stab at me? I know you’re angry, but this isn’t solving anything; you’re just being irrational!”

In his eyes, my grief over losing my sister, my despair for him, was just irrationality.

I suddenly found it both ridiculous and pathetic.

Just then, his phone rang abruptly.

He glanced at the caller ID, his brow instinctively furrowing.

He deliberately lowered his voice, but I still caught the sweet, delicate female voice on the other end.

“Captain Ryan, are you still mad at me?”

“I really didn’t mean to cause you trouble. My dad wants to invite you to dinner to thank you in person…”

Ryan turned his back to me, his voice a gentle tone I’d never heard him use before.

“Miss Valerie, you’re too kind. It was just part of my job.”

“No need for dinner. How’s your hand?”

“Much better, the doctor said it was lucky you handled it so quickly. All thanks to you…”

I watched his back impassively, then picked up my suitcase and walked towards the door.

Ryan seemed to sense my movement. He quickly said, “I have to go, I’m busy,” into the phone, then turned and rushed after me, blocking my path again.

“Harper, let’s talk this through. Please don’t go.”

I looked at him, then asked an unrelated question.

“Ryan, do you know what Mia’s ashes feel like to the touch?”

He froze.

I continued, ignoring him. “They’re cold. Colder than the snow on that mountain.”

He suddenly became agitated, snatching my suitcase from my hand.

“I won’t agree to a divorce!”